By Marsha Ralls | CEO and Founder of The Phoenix Asheville
September 29, 2026
Published in The Phoenix Asheville Blog
For much of my life, I believed that being available to others was simply part of being a caring person.
I have always valued connection. I enjoy bringing people together, listening to their stories, and creating spaces where people feel supported. But over time, I have learned that there is a difference between being openhearted and being endlessly available.
When we spend so much of our attention responding to the needs, emotions, and expectations of everyone around us, we can begin to lose touch with our own. We may say yes when we need to say no, remain in conversations that leave us depleted, or continue giving even when we have little left to give.
Protecting our energy does not mean becoming distant or shutting people out. It means becoming more intentional about where we place our attention and recognizing that our capacity is not unlimited.
A boundary is not a wall. It does not prevent connection. It gives us a way to stay connected without losing ourselves in the process.
Sometimes protecting our energy means pausing before agreeing to something. It may mean creating quiet space at the beginning or end of the day, being more intentional about how much time and attention we give to people or situations that consistently leave us drained, or recognizing that not every problem belongs to us to solve.
It can also mean paying closer attention to the body. Sometimes the body gives us clues before we consciously recognize that something is too much. Tension, exhaustion, irritability, and the feeling that we are always rushing can be signs that we need to pause, pay attention, and restore ourselves.
I have found that the goal is not to avoid difficult people, uncomfortable conversations, or emotionally demanding moments. Those experiences are part of any meaningful life. The goal is to enter them from a grounded place and to recognize when we need time to recover afterward.
At The Phoenix Asheville, I have seen how much can become clearer when people have the space to slow down. With fewer demands competing for their attention, they often begin to hear their own thoughts again. They reconnect with what energizes them, what matters to them, and what they may have been carrying that no longer belongs to them.
Protecting our energy is ultimately an act of responsibility. When we care for ourselves, we have more patience, clarity, and genuine presence to offer the people we love. We are able to give because we choose to, not because we feel obligated to give everything we have.
We do not need to close our hearts in order to protect them. We simply need to create enough space within our lives to remain connected to ourselves while staying connected to others.
About Marsha Ralls
Marsha Ralls is an entrepreneur, transformational speaker, and founder of The Phoenix Asheville, a holistic retreat center in Asheville, North Carolina. She brings together neuroscience, mindfulness, HeartMath, wellness, and nature to create meaningful experiences that support sustainable personal and professional transformation.
With more than three decades of entrepreneurial and leadership experience, Marsha is passionate about helping people reconnect with themselves, build resilience, and create lasting change. She is also the founder of Curator of Change, a nonprofit providing scholarships for transformational programs.
